You're Stuck With Me
by TrekkieL
Summary: Sam can't cope being a hunter anymore, so decides to end his life. As he places the barrel to his temple, he apologises to Gabriel, not realising the Archangel can acctually hear him. Gabriel is less than happy with Sam, and attempts to help him by sharing a winter memory. Established Sabriel. Some Destiel. Rated T for suicide attempt. Mush and Fluff.


Sam Winchester had had enough. Enough of everything.

Dean had gone with Castiel to sort out some witch problem, and Sam had decided to stay behind. He sat on his bed, looking at the gun in his hands. The colt. They'd used this to kill Azazel. To start the apocalypse.

Sam remembered how he had started the apocalypse. It was his fault the world was crumbling, the angels were fighting and the demons were invading.

He remembered his mother, and how it was his fault she was dead. If he hadn't been born. Hadn't been chosen. Maybe she'd still be alive.

He thought about Dean. How he'd ruined Dean's childhood by existing. Dean took care of Sam all day everyday for as long as Sam could remember.

He thought about everyone who had died... Because of him. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't.

He thought about his boyfriend, Gabriel. He'd even got him killed. Or he hadn't been there to save him. He couldn't tell Gabriel how he was feeling. He'd tell him 'it was his job and to suck it up and grow a pair.'

Sam placed the gun to his temple, his finger resting on the trigger. He clicked the safety off and the tears flowed down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel." Sam choked as he closed his eyes and his finger tightened on the trigger.

"Sam!" A voice cried out and the gun was yanked from his hand. Sam opened his eyes and saw his angel, his Gabriel, standing there in shock with the gun in his hand.

"Gabriel..." Sam gasped. "You..."

"I heard you. Apologising. I came to ask you what for. I didn't... I didn't expect this..." Gabriel's voice broke. "Sasquatch... What were you thinking...?" Gabriel asked as his own tears started streaming down his face.

"Give it back, Gabe." Sam growled.

"Of course! Here's your gun so you can shoot yourself with it! No way, Sammy." Gabriel snapped his fingers and the gun disappeared. "What the hell were you thinking?!" Gabriel shouted, not bothering to hide his tears.

"I was gonna kill myself! What the fuck did it look like?!" Sam retorted.

"Sammy..." Gabriel walked over sat beside Sam on the bed, pulling his lover into a tight embrace. That was all it took for Sam to break down completely.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." Sam cried as he sobbed onto Gabriel's shoulder. Gabriel shushed Sam, gently running a hand through his hunters long hair.

"Shh. It'll be okay... I'm here." Gabriel muttered over and over as Sam cried. "It's okay... I'm right here. I'm watching over you. I'm always here."

"I want to die. I need to die..." Sam cried.

"No no no... No. No, you don't." Gabriel assured him. "No, You don't want to. You don't need to." Gabriel muttered, taking Sam's face in his hands. "You don't need to."

"The world would be a better place without me, Gabe! Don't you see?" Sam asked.

"No. I don't see." Gabriel shook his head, moving his hands from Sam's face and lifting Sam's chin with one hand.

"I'm a mistake. I caused the apocalypse, I killed innocent people, I've ruined Dean's life, got mom killed and Bobby killed and Jess killed and, hell, I got Dean killed. I got you killed." Sam ranted with tears streaming down his face. "I've made good things bad and bad things worse."

"And is killing yourself going to change that?" Gabriel asked seriously. Sam blinked.

"What? Of course it is."

"No." Gabriel took Sam's hands in his. "No. Killing yourself won't bring them back. It won't stop the apocalypse, it won't give Dean his childhood, it won't solve anything."

"Then I should die before I ruin something else..." Sam replied.

"No." Gabriel caressed Sam's cheek. "You might make mistakes, and you might let people down. Nobody's perfect, Sammy. But there are people who love you, who need you, who are going to help you. So what if all that happened in the past? You can't do anything about it now. How do you know you won't save lives in the future? How do you know you won't stop the apocalypse. How do you know this was the right option...?" Gabriel asked lightly.

"I just let everyone down..." Sam mumbled.

"Not me, Sammy. You've never let me down." Gabriel sighed. "Never me..."

"Gabe-"

"Shh... Look at this." Gabriel reached across Sam to reach a photo on Sam's bedside table. He handed it to Sam so they could both see it.

It was a photo of Sam and Gabriel on the day they admitted their love. It was Christmas Eve, and it had just snowed. Sam was stood beside Gabriel with an arm around the archangel. Gabriel had a smirk on his face and a lolly in his mouth, while Sam had flakes of snow in his hair and the largest smile you've ever seen on a Winchester. It was snowing pretty heavily, so if you squinted, you could see the edges of Gabriel's wings. Sam almost smiled at the memory.

Gabriel had been as excited as a three year old and had run out into the snow in his pyjamas. Unfortunately, he got very cold very quick, so Sam gave Gabriel an old jacket, scarf and gloves. Dean came out with Castiel a few minutes later. Sam was busy making a snowman with Gabriel when Dean got Sam in the back of the head with a snowball. Dean fell over laughing at the bitchface Sam threw his way. Gabriel took his chance and threw a snowball (the meter wide base of the snowman) at Dean. Dean didn't find this as funny as Gabriel and Sam found it, so war broke out pretty soon.

"Remember our first kiss?" Gabriel asked.

Sam nodded.

Gabriel was running away from Dean when Castiel threw an unexpected snowball, causing Gabriel to fall over. Sam chuckled and went over to help Gabriel up. He extended his hand, which Gabriel took, but Gabriel pulled Sam down on top of him and patted a pile of snow into Sam's hair. Sam moaned, shaking his head, which caused half the pile to go down his shirt. Gabriel laughed and, feeling sorry for Sam, used his mojo to melt the snow in Sam's shirt and warm the hunter up. Sam smiled in thanks.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Dean chanted. Gabriel smirked and pulled Sam down by the front of his coat and their lips connected, causing Sam to let out a surprised moan.

"You don't know how long I wanted to do that!" Gabriel laughed.

"Me too." Sam chuckled.

"Sam! Gabriel!" Dean smirked as the two stood up. "Say cheese!"

"I meant what I said that night, kiddo." Gabriel smiled.

The evening of the snowball fight, Sam had made some hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows for everyone. Gabriel kissed Sam again as the hunter passed him his mug. Castiel and Dean 'gossiped' at the table on the other side of the room while Sam sat beside Gabriel on the sofa. Gabriel smiled and nudged Sam with his elbow.

"Today, outside. When I kissed you."

"Yeah?"

"I love you, Sam." Gabriel smiled.

"I love you too." Sam smiled back, putting an arm around Gabriel's shoulders and kissing Gabriel's forehead.

"I want to be with you forever." Gabriel muttered.

"Me too, with you."

"We were so happy that day." Gabriel smiled weakly. Sam wiped his eyes as Gabriel held one hand and kissed the top of Sam's head. "I don't want to lose you, Sasquatch."

"You won't..." Sam replied. "I'm okay now. Thank you."

"I'm staying with you tonight. Just to be sure." Gabriel smiled. Sam nodded and lay down on the bed. Gabriel put the photo back and lay down in front of Sam. Sam wrapped his arms around Gabriel's waist, pulling him close and hugging him.

"You okay, kiddo?" Gabriel asked. Sam nodded, tucking Gabriel's head under his chin. They were silent for a few minutes and Gabriel thought Sam had fallen asleep.

"I'm going to spend forever with you." Sam broke the silence. "I promise. You're stuck with me."

"Wouldn't want be stuck with anyone else." Gabriel chuckled.


End file.
